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Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

What is your purpose? What is it that you really want to do?

Two very simple questions, yet two very difficult answers for most of the human race. Why?

Well, for starters, we live in a world of too much noise and input. We receive information on how we should be living our lives from everywhere, whether it be our school systems, the government, television, news and entertainment, social media and / or just our surrounding environments.

I have found that a world of too many inputs causes the population to compare their journeys with everyone else’s. And the problem is, no two people are alike in their mission, vision, purpose or what brings them a sense of fulfillment.

In fact, there’s an expression,

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

Well, this couldn’t be more true.

While people are not only forgetting to add fulfillment to their own lives, they are comparing themselves to everyone else at the same time. That, right there, is a recipe for depression, anxiety and overwhelm.

PS – the same holds true for people who’ve already accepted their purpose and are on their mission. Comparison happens at all stages and to all people. That is, until they fall into their natural state of flow.

So, how do you stay in your own lane and do your own thing without comparing yourself to anyone else? And what about the people who haven’t found their lane yet and are still comparing themselves to others? How do we live in a state of non-comparison and intentionally drive our own “car”?

First, let’s understand why comparison is f—ing with you!

Comparing yourself to others poses three major issues:

  1. It paralyzes you creatively – The closing of the chest, the anxiousness of the mind and the overwhelming feeling that you’re not where you’re supposed to be, is basically, well, a shitty feeling and an overall way of being. The problem with comparison as it relates to your creative side is that you begin to look at what’s resonating with others instead of innovating from your own core. Other people are creating from something they are relating to. If you don’t do the same, you’ll really be inefficient, distracting and meaningless with your message and your output.
  2. It decreases motivation – yes, on the contrary to popular belief, it decreases your motivation because then you’re trying to take someone else’s path. If your motivation isn’t tied to your purpose and what you want to be doing with your life, or how you want to be helping others, then you will not see your dreams or vision come to reality, period. You will most likely quit.
  3. Different chapters – That is, people will often compare their chapter one to someone’s chapter twenty. You have no idea how much time, energy or money the person you are comparing to has gone through in order to get to where they are now. If you’re watching from the sidelines than you have no point of reference. Looking at someone’s chapter twenty will only discourage you from focusing on what you have to do now to get to chapter two, three, whatever.

The good news?

There is a way to stay in your own lane and do your own thing. This goes for you too, newbies!

I use an internal audit process that seems to work for me and others. It will not only help you stay in your own lane, but put the pedal to the f—ing medal so you understand a core place to operate from.

Let’s light it up!

#1 – How do you think you should be living?

Let’s start here before anything else. Why? Well, because you need to know where it is you want to go, how you want to be living your day to day and what type of activities will be filling those days.

Define what your days look like so when you start diving into what you should be doing with them, you’ll see how they play into a bigger picture for yourself. See, when you look at other people and compare, you’re also saying you’d like their life. Well, do you? You don’t even know what’s going on behind the scenes of other people, so just focus on your own shit and go from there.

#2 – What lights you up?

This is what most likely comes naturally to you. And you may not know it, but the things that are easiest for you, are not for countless other people, hence, there’s a business proposition in there as well.

What are you good at?

Ask yourself this,

“Was there ever a time you found yourself saying, “Oh, that’s easy! Anyone can do that! That’s so easy!”

Actually, no it’s not easy to everyone, it’s easy to you! Remember that. Furthermore, how does that skillset or talent apply to the thing you’re excited about whether it be a cause, a market you can help or company you can add value to?

Again, what’s easy for you and what lights you up, puts you in the exact lane you should be driving in.

#3 – What do you dislike doing?

You better figure this out real quick. Yet another great reason to not compare yourself to anyone else is because you don’t want to find yourself doing stuff you don’t like. In fact, that’s a waste of time.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about forgoing the work just because you don’t like it. What I am saying is that you need to figure out what you don’t like doing so once you’re in a place to do so, you can implement resources to take over the initial work you started.

We live in a time of unbelievable technological advantages that there is a solution to almost anything we dislike doing or don’t do well in general. Find out what those things are and move them off your plate, which leads me to point #4

#4 – What can you delegate?

You wanna go fast in your own lane, then get rid of anything that’s weighing you down. Either your limiting beliefs or your menial tasks.

See, one of the things that “comparison” robbed me of a long time ago is time. I wanted to do what others were doing without understanding they had processes. Because I was comparing myself to them, I thought I had to just do A LOT of work. Wrong! All wrong! You have to work smarter, not harder.

By doing your own thing and understanding your own talents and your own needs, you can quickly figure out what you should be doing and what you should be delegating. Comparison to others won’t help you one bit here.

Get In Your Own Lane

My WAKEUP call to you this week is two-fold:

  1. You needn’t compare yourself to anyone, period, end of story. Don’t look at their social media and think about their so-called “good life” and how “easy” they have it. Chances are they have no f—ing clue what they’re doing either.

That, and, what’s meant for them is meant for them. What’s meant for you is up to you. Understand?

2. To be the driver, you’ve got to figure out who you are, what works for you, what you like doing, what you don’t like doing and where can you leverage a system for creating the life you want. Speaking first hand, it wasn’t until I audited myself that I realized I was doing way too much, taking care of way too many people while neglecting myself and hitting wall after wall. You’ve got to figure out what works for you and not base it on what works for others.

If you’re going to compare yourself to anyone, compare the person you are in 5 or 10 years to the person you are working on now.

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6 comments

  1. Linda 29 May, 2017 at 19:01 Reply

    Very deep, Mr Kubassek
    You impress me.
    I see myself in the “doing too much for others” when I should be focused on where I am going.

  2. Kevin Smith 29 May, 2017 at 20:49 Reply

    Thanks Jay powerful stuff my friend, I must say I have been struggling but I will kick myself in the ars and move into second,third and fourth gear now thanks again ?

  3. Hyen Mui Voo Florence Voo 31 May, 2017 at 03:50 Reply

    Hi Jay Kubassek,

    Thank you very much for this encouraging piece of WAKEUP call on “Comparison is the thief of joy”
    I am still learning and find it very difficult to start yet.

  4. Luca Ecari 31 May, 2017 at 06:02 Reply

    Hi Jay,
    I find that this is indeed the most challenging questions that a vast majority of people today need (or try to) answer.
    On my opinion, though, it is not that people don’t know what they like to do – they are not sure whether what they like to do is also the RIGHT thing to do.
    I remember when I was a teenager I was convinced I wanted to be a doctor (like my father) – one day he told me “Luca there’s too many doctors around for you to have a chance to make a good living… why don’t you become an Engineer…?” which eventually I did 🙂
    I don’t regret this choice, even though I often think how my life would have changed if I had studied to become a doctor… and reflect on why I chose NOT to become a doctor in the end. A simple choice back then, which has ultimately had a big impact on my life no doubt.
    This is also the most challenging concept to make people who approach ‘our’ system and the opportunities offered by a digital business system understand: that ‘digital opportunities’ means first and foremost to get the freedom back to do what you really like.
    So many of us are so concentrated in a life they don’t like, that they believe it must be the norm, and watch all such claims re freedom and doing what you want as heresy.
    I believe that this is due to people ultimately not being willing to admit that what they have been doing so far is not what defines them or who they really are.
    Our mission is to Wake these people Up to this reality and equip them so that they can finally take action.
    I’ll write an article about this in my blog at http://NotHereToBreakEven.com … perhaps you’ll give me the opportunity to guest blog on yours too? 🙂
    Thanks for the article!
    Luca

  5. Esteban Cortes 6 June, 2017 at 22:18 Reply

    For now on, I am going to be me, and I am going to stop comparing myself with others and start investing on myself.

  6. Mana Otai 12 June, 2017 at 00:53 Reply

    Thanks Jay for the ‘wake -up ‘ message. Have drifted off to other lanes but lining up on my lane again after reading your post. The four questions really hit home and I am recalibrating my destination using the two points of ”Getting to your own lane”.

    Once again thank you

    Mana

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