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All Frustration Comes From the Lack of 3 Key Ingredients & a System

Do you ever really listen to your inner dialogue?

What’re your internal conversations like? I know for me, 15 years ago, they were basically arguments between two “Jays”.

It would be 6:30 am, and I’d be lying there before work contemplating my next moves. As a commuter in those days, the conversation at some point turned into an argument between two different versions of myself.

The first one was the risk mitigator, who was constantly on my ass.

“You’re going to be late. You’re this. You’re that.”

The other version of me sounded like this:

“I’d do anything not to get up right now so what’s it gonna cost me to be late?”

I must iterate that this form of thinking is also disrespectful because of the people I would be letting down. In other words, a guilt complex would settle in.

Then my mind took it a step further. Am I being disrespectful to them? What about me? I’m driving 30 min and not even being paid for that. I’m barely awake and I’m driving pissed off at the world.

Additionally, I’m thinking to myself, “The store opens up at 7:30 am and I have to turn that frown upside down just to get paid.”

Yeah, I was in a bit of a confused state back then. And I know it sucks because we beat ourselves up for feeling that way as well.

But then one day it all clicked . . .

First, it started with me setting goals for myself at my work.

Okay, now I’m on to something. What motivates me? What drives me?

At the time, I was very financially motivated so within a year’s time, I noticed I had hit my sales goals in order to produce the financial rewards I was looking for.

However, I came to realize that while I had hit my “goals”, I had not necessarily introduced intentions into my life. What am I talking about?

Well, in my previous blog post, I talked about hard work versus intentions and the fact that the only way to achieve the life you desire comes from having a very intrinsic-driven set of intentions.

What I also have to mention is that “intentions” are one of three key ingredients that must all play together in order to achieve a true goal. Not only that, but they must play together in a “system” for you.

But first, let’s start with the three key ingredients:

  • Setting intentions
  • Embracing commitment
  • Implementing a strong work ethic

Setting intentions . . .

On my last blog post, I spoke about setting intentions. That is, what are some intrinsic variables you are looking to achieve in your life?

Is it time? Freedom?

Perhaps you’re looking for happiness or abundance?

Maybe it’s all of the above.

Great! Then you must set the frequency, or the vibration of what that looks like to you. You have to know where you’re going in order to know when you’ve achieved that place of abundance.

Here is an example of setting a right intention for your life both, personally and professionally:

“It is my intention to be working passionately on my purpose, which in turn brings me an abundance of happiness, health, wealth, time and freedom, whereby I am earning revenue from serving the world, or my true audience, bringing them consistent value for their needs. Additionally, it is my intention that a year from now, I will have not only achieved this, but will be financially free.”

As you can see, this statement is very intentional and driven for one’s personal and professional goals in the not-so-distant future. And while this is great to have, it must be accompanied with the next two ingredients: commitment and your work ethic.

Embracing commitment . . .

What are you willing to do to achieve your intentions you set forth? What are you committed to?

Commitments are different than intentions (or overall goals). I learned that when you set an intention, in order for it to manifest or actually happen, you do smaller iterative goals that are based on some sort of a routine which help you achieve mini milestones (or daily/weekly goals).

See, because there will be some serious mindshifts and work involved with achieving your intentions, the commitment must be big enough.

It must be something tied to your “north star” that you are working towards; something to latch onto and pull yourself up to something specific that’s going to take you away from day-to-day clutter, the day-to-day drudgery, all that feeling of, “I hate my job,” or, “I’m worth more than this.”

In other words, set the intention and commit to the end result.

I had to fulfill on dozens of weekly (daily) goals, obligations or commitments to achieve my true intentions and this required me to do some reprogramming.

I not only reprogrammed my mindset but my ethics around work. Now, that’s not to say I wasn’t a hard worker. I’ve always been an extremely hard worker!

However, if you’re not committed to something that you are intentionally seeking, your work ethic will have varying degrees of results.

Implementing a strong work ethic

So, the next viable question is, how does one implement a strong work ethic?

Here’s the deal. Everyone is different and everyone figures out what time they need to go to bed, what time they need to wake up, when they should practice their daily mantras, you name it. I can’t dictate that for you.

What I can say is, that it’s all about knowing why you care so much about your intentions and the accompanying goals to the point where you’re willing to get up every single day and consistently perform.

Friends, performance brings you two things: knowledge and results

It brings knowledge because you discover what works and what doesn’t work. You take what doesn’t work and get rid of it immediately. You also end up connected to other individuals, professionals, networks, and ways of doing things.

It brings results because your work has to bring you something. If the results are good, you know what to lean on. If the results aren’t, you know where you need to pivot.

I don’t have everything figured out, but one thing I do know is that it gets a lot easier by doing.

Bringing it all together with a “system”

So, what do you do when you have all three ingredients figured out?

You integrate them into a system; a blueprint if you will.

If you can come up with a blueprint for that, then you figure out the end result you want in each area of your life.

What are the commitments you are going to have to make for that to become a reality?

What are you going to have to do? What are the actions steps?

Maybe you look at the five things that leaders do? How do you make what you learn from them and others as part of a routine? How do you make this an effortless part of your life (minimally disruptive)?

You can let your feelings dictate what you do on a daily basis or you can allow your commitments to dictate what you do. Simple as that.

This is where people have to understand that everyone has a different system and you have to work a little backwards to get it.

And the problem is, often people don’t ask the right questions to get there. I’d start here . . .

You want more freedom and time

  1. What will you have to accomplish financially to get it?
  2. What are your skillsets that you will be providing to earn that revenue?
  3. What are the steps you’ll need to implement those skillsets?
  4. How much time will it take for you to piece everything together?
  5. How quickly are you trying to get there?
  6. Do you need to get up earlier than normal as that’s when you produce your best work?
  7. How’s the mindset looking?
  8. What are your daily health habits?
  9. Do you exercise? Do you need to exercise?

See what I mean? There are some very formulaic questions you can use to calculate and design your day in order to get you where you’re going. You just need to work backwards and then implement all the steps into a system and build from there.

All frustration and overwhelm comes from the lack of a system.

If you’re really going to believe in a radical personal responsibility, then you need to apply it to every area of your life. You have to make a commitment.

How we feel inside has almost nothing to do with our physical surrounding circumstances. It all comes down to how we react.

All the best,
Jay

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3 comments

  1. David Naidu 28 April, 2017 at 21:37 Reply

    Thanks Jay, you are very inspirational and I love your dynamic enthusiasm to shift my mindset to the level of your perception.

    Personally you have issued me a challenge to live up to your expectations and I have promised myself to lift my game to the highest level and emulate your passion to help everyone.

    My appreciation for your passionate exhortations to excel.

    Regards
    David.

  2. Mark Goujon 28 April, 2017 at 21:38 Reply

    Thank you Jay for your sound advice to overcome that internal struggle and move closer to achieving goals! I can relate to your “arguments between two Jays.” My journey to change my mindset inspired me to write my song Revolution Within. The lyrics may resonate with you and our tribe: https://youtu.be/OOLxQJzY5as

  3. Vera Lehar 2 May, 2017 at 17:43 Reply

    You have no idea, Jay, how you helped me just now. Frustrated, internet trouble, I was just going to quit for some time, but reading your post, just makes me too rearrange more than a just computer. Even though I am progressing very slow, life is changing for me
    Thank you
    Vera

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