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You Are Good Enough – Seriously.

You Are Good Enough

So it’s summertime here in New Jersey. It’s hot as hell, the sun is out, and this time of year always makes me remember…

It’s the middle of the year now. I’m not really sure how I’m finding myself in July already, but what I do know is that this is the perfect time to check in and take stock in how my year is going so far, and I encourage you to do the same.

What goals do you have for yourself this year? Are you taking steps daily to reach them? If you’re anything like me you need a daily kick in the ass to remember to stay on track. But the important thing to realize here, is that regardless of whether or not we we’re aware of it, we’re always improving little by little anyway. Because that’s what we do as humans. We strive to be better even when we’re not doing it consciously…

So, can you imagine the potential we could unlock if we were conscious? If we were intentional about improving ourselves and our environments?

But how do we become more conscious and intentional?

Small example before I dive into my main points…

I have these cards from The WAKEUP store that I carry in my wallet. They’re these credit card sized, black plastic cards that I’ve written my goals on with silver marker. I see them every time I take out my wallet to pay for something, any time I put my hand in my pocket – Just little reminders.

What’s my point?

The idea is to start to reprogram the patterns that run in our minds. To be in the mindset of self-improvement.

But how do we overcome the mindsets, mental constructs, and patterns that have been instilled in us over our lives from family, religion, economic factors, our various cultures? How do we deconstruct these patterns that only perpetuate the vicious cycle of getting the same old results over and over again?

Step 1: Accept yourself the way you are – “I am good enough.”

When we hate on ourselves, it’s self defeating. Period. We can’t have an adversarial relationship with ourselves and expect a positive outcome. You need to release yourself from judgement because the only thing that matters is that when you close your eyes at night, you know you did your best. You’re not perfect. If you think you are, there’s the door…

We’re not perfect but we’re also not alone…

Take care of yourself for shitsake… This is not selfish! You’ve got to change the conversation in your head from:

“I’m selfish if I take this time for myself.”

To…

“I’m selfish if I don’t because by growing and improving, I’m better able to help others and I have a more positive impact on the environment around me.”

Read that back again and tell me that’s not some powerful, mind-shifting shit.

Step 2: Review your everyday communications.

By this I mean, be conscious and aware of the impact your communication can have on others.

In this highly digital and textual world it’s easy for tone and intentions to get lost in the void. So before you send out any communication, do an energy check – What kind of energy are you projecting and hoping to get back? What’s your value add? How can you make the best of this communication?

Before you hit that send button, ask yourself these questions…

Is this going to make the world a better place?
Is this going to put a smile on the other person’s face?
Is this going to make them feel appreciated?
Is this going to have a positive or negative impact?

Are you projecting kindness and gratitude for the opportunity to connect? If you’re not, then you’re doing it wrong.

Step 3: Acknowledge the compound effect.

How many communications do you have in a day? I’m talking in total. Texts, emails, voicemails, Tweets, Likes, Comments, conversations in line at the damn coffee shop. 50? 100? 1,000?

I’m going to keep things simple to make my point. Let’s say you have 10 a day.

10 communications a day = 3,650 communications a year

Now, consider all the opportunities you have to uplift others and spread positivity. 3,650 of them. Think about that. Are you leveraging them all?

We are in charge of our own destiny. We get back what we put out there. So get it out there.

Be more authentic. If you’re having a great day, say so. If not, don’t fake it – own your shit.
But never, by any means, ever beat yourself up for feeling down. Let it happen, acknowledge it and then think about how you can lift yourself up.

Feel alone? Reach out to someone who’s lonely.
Feel broke? Reach out to someone who’s broke and commiserate.

The moral here is that by lifting others, we lift ourselves. Novel fucking concept, I know. But really, there’s nothing I can say that you haven’t heard before, and that’s ok because if it weren’t true and if it didn’t work then people wouldn’t do it.

You can be the change – WE can be the change that we want to see in the world. That’s what The WAKEUP Company is all about. The ONLY objective is to really live and nurture that desire to become a little bit more self aware, emotionally aware, and intelligent every single day.

Baby steps…

Because at the end of the day, the most important thing to remember is nothing has more value than the relationship you have with yourself. It will be the most difficult relationship you’ll ever have but also the most rewarding, so for godsake, be good to YOU.

Step 4: Acknowledge your vulnerability

Nobody is happy all day, every day, 100% of the time. If you know someone, please let me know what they’re taking.

We all have down days. Admit that you’re feeling shitty. Vocalize it to those around you. You’ll learn that once it’s vocalized, and that the people around you didn’t run away screaming, the shitty feelings will lose their power over you and you can move on.

So again, I’ll ask – How’s your year going so far? Have you stuck with the goals you set out for yourself? How’s that relationship with yourself going?

Check in.
Assess.

You might feel a little pang of guilt or regret, or the could’ve, would’ve, should’ves – let that thought go like a fart in the wind. All you have is today and a better tomorrow.

I’ll leave you with this…

Being a little more kind and accepting of yourself will make you a more kind and accepting person to others and this can only benefit you within your life and within your business. It’s like gravity. People will be pulled in to your positivity.

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10 comments

  1. Rod Sharp 18 July, 2017 at 15:34 Reply

    Many thanks for this Jay.

    I guess you may have been tempted to think this is too obvious as you were writing, but it is a very powerful change/improvement agent that I will make more use of !

    Thanks a million !

  2. David 18 July, 2017 at 18:56 Reply

    Thanks Jay – lots of food for thought in your article and knowing you as I do I can see right where you are coming from. I take on board what you say, give myself and others just a little slack as I move forward and become more accepting of myself and others too.
    Thanks again, look forward to catching up with you real soon!

  3. Joachim/Lukas 19 July, 2017 at 10:51 Reply

    OUH! that matches total my thoughts, but I have to put that in practice. And I like so much to be spontaneous, but with your new lifestyle, i have at my oldage to get every think in my mind to be reset!!! But happy I read the book about Brain platicity, mind and life institut by Dalai Lama, so I have hope to get my thoughts in the right humanbeingway!!! Thank much Jay, I’m working on it.

  4. Natasha 20 July, 2017 at 01:45 Reply

    Thank You for your words JK.
    I would say i am making progress a lot slower than I’d like to be, in all honesty…
    But, progress is being made towards vaguely outlined intentions..
    Perhaps if i get more clear & specific the wind will fill my sails more fully and i will drift about less…
    All in all, blessed, alive, enjoying the heat and light of july…

    • Jay Kubassek 29 July, 2017 at 13:51 Reply

      Progress is progress Natasha. Don’t be so hard on yourself and celebrate how far you’ve come not how far you have to go 🙂

  5. Trish and Chris 28 July, 2017 at 14:39 Reply

    Thanks Jay… great share! these are 4 powerful things we can do everyday and when done can change the direction of our lives… thank you for taking the time to put your thoughts down 🙂

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